With The Holiday Season Overwith I Can't Help But Wonder... WHAT THE HELL HAPPEND TO TAYLOR MOMSEN?!
"Isn't this just a little superfluous?"
Much like many of you I watched the 2000 live action remake of How The Grinch Stole Christmas starring the hilarious Jim Carey as The Grinch, a roll he was born to play because honestly that Batman Forever abortion solidified Joel Schumacher as Batman's greatest villain. But that is a story for another day.This family friendly update of a Christmas classic also featured a pre-Arrested Development Jeffery Tambor, brother of the director Clint Howard, and a seven-year-old Taylor Momsenas the adorable Cindy Lou Who, the one who helped the Grinch's heart grow three times too big. What a difference a decade or so can make, huh? Holy craps she looks like a Gothic Ke$ha!
Scary Taylor
Now it's easy to take anyone's photos from when they were a kid and compare them to how they look now. Most people you won't see a difference, some people might have a change in hair color or complexion. So only to be fair to Taylor, let's take a look at a picture of me from nearly ten years ago (or at least the closest one on the internet I could find.)
Dat you, Santy Claus?
Yup, not much difference. I'm still a psycho who hates the holidays, now I'm just bald. Regardless, Taylor has grown up to be a young woman now at the tender age of 19 which will shape the rest of her career, and things aren't looking good. She's on the fast track to train-wreck-ville, population her, Lindsay Lohan, and Amanda Bynes. At least Lindsay and Amanda still managed to stay hot looking through their spiraling downward plummet to paparazzi fodder. Don't get me wrong I'm sure there are people who still find Taylor attractive.I mean if my sixteen year-old self had just finished reading an Anne Rice novel and saw Taylor hanging out at the food court of Eastpoint Mall I'd be all about that! Perhaps the two of us could go to Sam Goody together and complain about all the "Sell outs" buying Smashing Pumpkins' Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness cd's and how they'll never know true sadness while feasting off the riches of their parents who spoil them. But this isn't 1997 any more and I have standards. And not to mention no one calls someone a sell-out because of the music they listen to. I hope they don't at least.
Did anyone else think that was a Nick Fury-esc eyepatch at first?
All of this could be just part of a character like Alice Cooper. You know, Alice Cooper want-a-be golf pro by day and leather-clad, blood spurting rock & roller by night. Now I don't watch Gossip Girl because I'm not a spoiled teenage girl who has fantasies of torrid love triangles that don't involve becoming a part of royal family, so I didn't witness Taylor's transition from darling and innocent schoolgirl to resembling an extra hanging out in the background scene at a halfway-house from the movie Trainspotting. Maybe she'll turn things around and go back to being the wide eyed cutesy bubbling blonde that we thought she would grow up to be. I mean that's what I'm hoping for. Because I don't want to click on a link of Taylor's celebrity sex tape one day and see her tied to a bed wearing a choke collar and have that become a fetish of mine own. So Taylor, get it together, please.